Why Do I Love You?
by ShadowOfTheNight101
Summary: I guess I have always loved you, but I never questioned it. I never questioned my heart because I always thought it was right...But why? Did I love you because of your eyes, or your smile? Or was the reason I love you because you saved my life? Or maybe it was because you're a hero. I don't know. Why do I love you?


**_Why Do I Love You?_**

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_6/28/98_

_I sat in our room just wondering when you were going to return. But here's the thing, I didn't know if I wanted you to return. I mean, of course I wanted you to return, but why? So, I could watch you leave again the next day. Just sit here in our room, while you went out and saved the world. Was that what our life together was going to be? You leaving all the time, sometimes even weeks at a time, while I stay here and play househusband and father._

_Here's the problem with that, we are engaged, not married. We are staying with my parents, since we don't own a house yet. So that rules out playing househusband. There was one more thing, what was it…Oh! Yeah, we have no children. And that rules out playing dad._

_It's not like I blame you or anything. I know that you are the savior of the Wizarding World, but that's just it. You never wanted to be. So, why are you doing it? The entire world is depending on you. Tell them to leave you alone. There are tons of wizards that can fight him. Why do you have to do it? You don't. Just say no._

_Okay! You caught me; those are not my true feelings. Truth is, I'm glad that you do that. That you risk your life for others. I wish you wouldn't, but you do it because you care for those people. Like I care for you. But that is what is bothering me, isn't it? I love you, but I don't know why._

**Do I love you because you're beautiful,**

**or are you beautiful because I love you?**

**Am I making believe I see in you a man too lovely to be really true?**

_Dear Diary,_

_7/14/98_

_I guess I have always loved you, but I never questioned it. I never questioned my heart because I always thought it was right. But that's just it, even when I dated other guys I still loved you. But why? Did I love you because of your eyes, or your smile? Or was the reason I love you because you saved my life? Or maybe it was because you're a hero. I don't know. Why do I love you Harry Potter? Why?_

_For the past seven years I have loved you. I spent all that time loving you because that's what my heart felt. I've loved you since your second year. Now I'm nineteen and we're engaged. You and I are to be married this November. However, I don't know if I'm ready to be married. I know that I want to get married, but I don't know if I'm ready. Does that make sense? Maybe not._

_Dear Diary,_

_8/3/98_

_See, this is what is going to happen. In just a short three months, you and I are going to be married. Till death do us part, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. But I'm scared. Everyday, I read the paper just to hear more about Death Eater attacks and then you saving countless people. Of course, I'm proud of you. I mean, who wouldn't be? But I wish you would come home. I wish you would come home and stay here with me. I want to wake up in the mornings and see you sleeping next to me. I want to go to bed with you being the last thing I see._

_I read an article in the prophet today. It said that you had finally rounded up most of the Dark Lord's followers. Meaning, you only have to deal with him and then you can come home._

**Do I want you because you're wonderful,**

**or are you wonderful because I want you?**

**Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream**

**or are you really as beautiful as you seem?**

_Dear Diary,_

_10/28/98_

_It's been two and a half months. We are going to be married in a week. ONE WEEK! And you still aren't home. I'm getting really worried. The prophet doesn't say anything and I am in a constant worry. My mother constantly tells me you're fine, but even I can see the worry etched in her face._

_Dear Diary,_

_11/4/98_

_In two days, we are to be married. The prophet finally announced the downfall of the Dark Lord, but where are you? They say there has been no sign of you since his defeat. I even contacted the Head Auror, he said you should have returned by now. So where are you? I really hope nothing has happened to you. It would kill me inside to know something happened._

_I know I should cancel the wedding, but it's too late. My family is already starting to arrive and everybody is so ecstatic about the whole ceremony. So where are you? Everybody is here. My family, our friends, cousins, uncles and aunts, bridesmaids and groomsmen, our maid of honor and best man. Everything is set for our wedding, except for you._

_WHERE ARE YOU?!_

**Am I making believe I see in you a man too perfect to be really true?**

**Do I want you because you're wonderful,**

**or are you wonderful because I want you?**

I sit on our bed as I flip through the pages of my youth. I smiled as I remembered the few days before our wedding. It was exhausting to say the least. The night before our wedding, when my entire family had sat down around the many tables outside, you apparated into the forest just on the outskirts of the wards. You actually caused a few people to scream of Death Eaters until you walked forward and revealed yourself.

I was so ecstatic that you had returned that I launched myself into your arms and kissed you with every fiber of my being. All you did was hold me in your arms as tight as you could, stroke my hair as I cried tears of joy at your return, and whisper how sorry you were for being late over and over again.

I was so happy that you returned that I never let you out of my sight. Even though it was wrong, I slept with you that night, just snuggled against your side. I was afraid if I left you for even a moment, you would fade away like a dream. The next morning I woke to find a small note with your scratchy penmanship stating that you would see me in a few hours.

I spent the rest of the day getting ready for our wedding, between make-up, hair and dress, I was fully ready for my walk down the aisle to be with you. When that moment finally came, when we had to say our vows, I was in tears. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. I loved you with all my heart and I knew why. It wasn't because of your hair, smile, quidditch skills, or anything of that. It was because you were my best friend, I could tell you anything knowing you wouldn't tell a soul, you were the one of the only people I could trust, and for that I loved you.

As I sat in our room, flipping through page after page of my diary, the one I kept throughout my entire life, the book was well over a thousand pages. I would add more and more pages as I began to dwindle down to the last two, writing my thoughts, hopes and dreams.

I felt a dip in the bed and then you sitting right behind me. I felt you push away my hair and kiss my neck as you rested your head on my shoulder and wrapped your arms around my growing stomach.

"What are you reading, my love?" You said.

"Just the passage I wrote the months and days before our wedding," I replied, finally shutting the book and leaning against you.

"Ah, yes! I remember the night before our wedding well. I'm still very sorry for being so late," You said.

"So why were you late?" I asked.

"I was out buying you your wedding ring," You replied with a chuckle.

"You're so full of it," I said smacking at his hands that covered my belly that was home to our child.

"Maybe so, but you married me."

I smiled as I closed my eyes and just listened to your gentle breathing.

"I love you Harry," I whispered. I didn't even have to lookup to know you were smiling. After spending about three years of my life as your boyfriend - two of which in secret, then two as your fiancée, then finally four as your husband, I knew you all too well. I knew you so well that whenever the paparazzi came around, I always knew when you used your "publicity" smile. A smile you only used because you hated the reporters and just gave them a quick smile and left as soon as possible.

It amazes me even today how much we have gone through. It amazes me how we were able to withstand all the trauma and hurdles that we faced and that others threw at us. However, I'm just glad I have you and no one can change that.

As I hear you exhale I know which three words are about to escape your mouth. The words that always make me smile and the ones that always make my heart flutter.

"I love you too, Draco."

**Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream**

**or are you really as wonderful as you seem?**

* * *

A/N: This is not my song. It is from Rodger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella with Brandi. If you haven't seen it...you need to.


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